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Is this real??


Joanne knew her encounter with the corporate president and CEO where she worked was a mistake. And that horror was driven home all the more when she missed her period the following month. She confronted the leader with the news, and his reaction was cold as a glacier. 

“Just go. Go now.” he said loudly, as he moved toward the door of his office to open it for her.

Joanne had seen that tone before. But she knew this wasn’t a time to be submissive. Politely but firmly she said, “I’ll have the ultrasound delivered within a week. After I give birth, the DNA test will follow in time. Good day.” And she walked calmly out, leaving the Prez with a purple face and a blood pressure reading that probably equaled the National Debt.

Joanne made an appointment for a pregnancy ultrasound. She needed actual picture proof and the sonogram was the best way to do it. She knew the ultrasonido would show about two months of pregnancy.

But every pregnancy clinic she tried to make an appointment for, for the baby ultrasound, was booked months in advance! She wanted the father of her baby to know NOW. 

She was telling her friend of her dilemma when the friend mentioned there was a service online that created “fake” ultrasound prank printouts and certificates. Joanna instantly knew how she would handle the situation.

She went online to and ordered exactly what she wanted. She could even choose the stage of her pregnancy. Then she confronted the baby’s dad again.

And again, he angrily denied it was his.

Joanne had to go home and re-think the situation now. What could she do? 

And then she remembered seeing another product on the website – a fake DNA test! She KNEW this man was the father – there could be no other -- and she was determined to make him admit it. Even though she didn’t have his sample DNA, how would he know she didn’t have it?

She ordered the fake DNA document through Fakeababy and again it was delivered within a few days. This time, Joanna had a new plan.

She knew the baby’s father was attending a large birthday party at a local restaurant. There would be a hundred invited guests. She wasn’t one of them, but hey – she can crash a party as well as the next girl!

Joanna showed up at the height of the party. She got everyone’s attention and addressed the father loudly as everyone fell quiet. She held up the fake pregnancy ultrasound for everyone to see, and with teary eyes, begged the father to admit the baby was his, and to help with her medical bills. 

The father predictably shouted back angrily, trying to defend himself in front of all his friends and guests. He said that fake sonogram didn’t prove ANYTHING!, and he ordered her out of the establishment.

But Joanne was clever enough to predict this behavior, and she calmly held up the faked DNA certificate. The DNA of a fetus can be determined by a special procedure.

“But you don’t even have my DNA!” he shrieked! “This doesn’t prove anything either!”

Feeling triumphant, he sat back down and waved her off with his hand. 

Joanne reached in her purse and pulled out a pair of his briefs. There was a stain on the front. The DNA on those briefs and from the baby’s sample was a match.

The baby’s father’s face went ashen, then white. He swallowed hard. Everyone was staring at him. He knew he was only seconds from losing them all as friends, forever.

And Joanne knew just how to play this.

In a calm voice, not unfriendly, not pleading, not accusatory, but mild and gentle and sincere, she said, “I just want you to do the right thing. If you don’t want the baby, that’s your choice. But I need help.”

The father looked down, took a minute, and nodded, eyes wet as well. 

“Ok,” he said quietly. “I understand. Yes, I know it’s mine. I know it. I admit it. I’ll do what’s right. You don’t have to worry.”

The silent crowd took a minute, and took that in, and they glanced around at each other, and most smiled. A few patted the man on the back for standing tall. 

A woman in the back piped up and yelled out, “Then we have two things to celebrate today! Congratulations, Dad and Mom! However you work this out is up to you, but we’re all happy to see that you ARE working it out!”

There was uproarious applause, and Joanne was invited to stay for the party. She shared a lingering look with the father. He nodded briefly, and might have smiled slightly. Joanne mouthed, “Thank you”, and the party commenced. 

Joanne did later obtain real ultrasound prints, which she shared with the father. He passed them around to family and friends. 

Joanne and the father didn’t immediately get back together, but as of this writing, it looked promising as heck.

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